2020 is about to end but is it really over?

Just like many other people I am soooooo over 2020. I don't even remember what is normal anymore. I don't know how I am going to move on from this. I don't even know what I am going to when things are back to "normal". Do we even need a "normal"? 

I don't think it is smart to just disregard everything that 2020 brought to the people of this planet. This year has not been smooth sailing for anyone but I'm sure it serves a purpose. Many things were unfolded. Many ugly sides of people were brought to light. I was disappointed by my loved ones. I was disappointed by society. I was disappointed in myself. I was ignorant. I settled down for some mediocre kind of justice. I didn't realize that just because I am benefitted from the system, it doesn't mean that the system is fair and just.  

I learned a lot. It wasn't just a matter of me growing as a person, widening my views, and eventually, do better. It was also about acknowledging how flawed the system is and how I could do my part to help establish a society that works for everyone under it and not just for the people holding the wheel.

I also learned that I deserve to be treated better. Just because I am young, it doesn't mean that any so-called adult can treat me like an inflated balloon. I learned that rather than changing myself to please other people, they just gotta deal with the person I am, no filter, no bullshit. I learned that I wasn't pursuing happiness. I was simply just trying to be someone else. Because society tells me that I can only be happy when I am rich, thin, and white. 

This isn't me giving up on my future but this year, I decided that I do not want to be rich. I just want to be paid what I deserve (that would certainly not gonna make me rich). I don't want to step on other people to climb up the ladder of wealth. I don't want to participate in any form of exploitation just to make my wallet fat. I don't want to be a part of the world where being kind is a weakness. 

2020 has been extremely hard on me. But there is a crack in everything and that's how the light gets in. And also, just because there is light, it doesn't mean it can't hurt you. Sometimes, it is the light that hurts you. 

Take your time