Daily rant_When things slip
Hi,
Things slip
We lose control over events in or life, more often than we would like to admit.
I don't think I have made my way to the final stage of the emotional ride, acceptance. I'm somewhat of a control freak. I don't care enough for a lot of things. But with the things I care about, I get quite obsessive. I want total control. I always come in prepare. I plan everything ahead for them. Therefore, with the current self-quarantine situation, everything I have planned just flew out the window. And I am so frustrated about it. I know, I know, first world's problem huh. People are suffering from the virus, businesses are closing, the world's economy is terribly affected and I'm here complaining about things slipping out of my god damn hands. Probably not the best thing to do. But also not the worst, I reckon.
I have been very grumpy recently. Meaning I'm treating people around me terribly. I am very well aware of that. I haven't been the nicest to my mom on the phone. I haven't been very enthusiastic to my friends (like my only 3 friends, imagine being a social butterfly) when I talk to them. It's such an odd feeling. Because I thought if given a chance of solitude, I would thrive as an almost anti-social introvert. Maybe because so much of my life has been tied to "productivity". Right now, I'm forced to be unproductive. Well, maybe it's about time to reconsider my definition of "productivity". Is it a sign from the spiritual power above telling me to take a look at everything and question all of my life decisions?
When things slip, I slip... I lost control over the things I want to total control over. I feel as if a part of me isn't here anymore. I always think I could do better and that I should do better. And I am not.
Things slip
We lose control over events in or life, more often than we would like to admit.
I don't think I have made my way to the final stage of the emotional ride, acceptance. I'm somewhat of a control freak. I don't care enough for a lot of things. But with the things I care about, I get quite obsessive. I want total control. I always come in prepare. I plan everything ahead for them. Therefore, with the current self-quarantine situation, everything I have planned just flew out the window. And I am so frustrated about it. I know, I know, first world's problem huh. People are suffering from the virus, businesses are closing, the world's economy is terribly affected and I'm here complaining about things slipping out of my god damn hands. Probably not the best thing to do. But also not the worst, I reckon.
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| Thank god spring is finally here |
When things slip, I slip... I lost control over the things I want to total control over. I feel as if a part of me isn't here anymore. I always think I could do better and that I should do better. And I am not.
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